Friday, March 20, 2009

I love you Scooby


I skipped class today to watch Scooby-Doo. It was a good decision.

Scooby Doo has always been my absolute favorite cartoon, my first crush ever was on shaggy which i think is a pretty accurate depiction of how i would feel about guys later in life. Instead of the fashionable, attractive, and intelligent Fred, i liked the goofy dirty fool who eats dog food. Scooby Snacks must be packed full of amphetamines and cocaine; have you seen the way they get crazy perky and cracked out from "dog food"?? I really wish life could just be as nice as it is on Scooby Doo. I would love to be a member of the gang traveling across the country solving easy ass mysteries while never having to work and staying at hotels for free as long as you can help get rid of the swamp creature that's scaring away customers. Velma and Fred usually do all the work anyway, shaggy just eats and hangs out with his dog and Daphne...I actually have no clue what the fuck she does.

There are never any issues or problems with their lives either. There's no episode where Velma's uncle is in a terrible accident or where Fred gets Daphne preggers. I think i'm gonna try to convince some people to drop out of school with me, get a dog and just drive around in a van solving mysteries, taking amphetamines, and ridding the world of banshees and ghosts. Plus we'd get to have groovy background music playing all the time.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

I am Going to an Anime Convention


I really
Am disappointed with
Myself here. I swear I'm not a
Greasy haired nerd
Obsessing over half dressed prepubescent
Ivory skinned girls. That's really
Not me at all. So I'd like to explain myself. I'm only
Going because my good friend
Tom insists that it will be better than Christmas and my birthday and an
Orgasm combined. And that
All day you just walk around getting drunk and making fun of
Nerdy boys dressed up as
Anime characters.
Now, this combines two of my favorite things to do, spend an entire weekend
Intoxicated and be the bitch that i am and
Make fun of people. Also the
Event would be free, so it's not like i'm spending
Cash money to go to some anime freak show. The
Opportunities to laugh seem
Never ending by the way tom describes it. There is this
Virtual dating game that some guys play there where they talk to a computer like it's a girl. There is
Even a seminar on how to talk to women! So don't worry friends, I haven't turned into a
Nerd. I just want
To get drunk all day, stay
In a hotel, and make fun
Of greasy haired and perverted
Nerds.

I don't even watch anime.